Dang! This is HARD!

When Dreams Arising came to life in 2017, it was a workshop.  In that 4-hour class, participants named their dream and shared it.  They learned all the ways we sabotage ourselves. We named six different Dreamkillers and by the time they left, they had a customized action plan and someone to hold them accountable.

I found various places to present it to workshop participants and just loved watching the aha’s happen.  One of my favorite venues was the Blue Moose Art Gallery,

That’s where I met Sarah Bennett.  Her dream was to create a one-day conference, a “Create Your Life Playshop” where creativity and self-development came to life.  She made that happen in September 2019 and invited me to present a breakout session.  It was a blast!

Dreams Arising made dreams come to life.  I loved teaching that class and watching my students thrive!

Now what?

Then, COVID19 forced me to cancel my scheduled classes for 2020.  I had to rethink my position.  Did I want to convert to online classes, or write a book? I just didn’t have the fizz to learn a new teaching platform and realized it had to be a book.  And like any person with a goal, I set a deadline: a finished rough draft by Dec. 31. 

I’ve been adding content most every week. I could see the word count add up week after week.  A lot of it was free writes, riffing on what I would say in a workshop.

But now, I’m at the stage where it’s time to burn the fluff away. 

The outline has been revised and condensed.  I’ve cut the meandering sidetracks.  I know there is a lot of fleshing out to do.  Plus, it still needs to hang together.

There is a LOT left to be done.  My deadline is 6 weeks away.

I’m overwhelmed! 

I have met mine enemy and she is me.

It’s just so Dang HARD

These last two weeks have been especially difficult.  Knowing my deadline is getting closer and knowing here is so much to do has paralyzed me.

It’s the messy, murky middle.  It’s slog-through time. It’s put up or shut up time.

So, naturally, I have every excuse in the book to avoid working; as we all do when we’re creating something important. Here are all the ways I’ve put my writing on hold.  See if any sound familiar:

  • I went shopping for yarn, more than once
  • I finished a Christmas angel project that I started a year ago
  • I completely rearranged my fiber storage closet
  • I helped my sister pack her house for her move
  • I shopped for and restocked my church’s Little Free Food Pantry
  • I cleared my office desk and made an excruciatingly detailed to-do list
  • I polished all my wood furniture with lemon oil
  • Yesterday, I put up my Christmas tree (for cripes sake!)

It’s all there – procrasti-cleaning, procrasti-organizing and procrasti-volunteering. I am a champion procrastinator!

Make a game of it

I bet you’re a champion too! 

Knowing that’s where I am right now, and that this stage is perfectly normal, and that I’ll move past it, I’ve decided to make a game of it. Let’s normalize and accept that the murky, messy middle is where we all get stuck when our masterpiece is ready to be born. 

Want to play?

Here’s how: In the comments, you’re invited to share your favorite, most outlandish, procrastination story.  Was it scrubbing the top of the refrigerator?  Was it polishing the dog dish?  Was it emptying and cleaning the trunk of the car?

I know you have one.  Please share it so we can all enjoy the creative ways we get in our own way.

What were you trying to create or accomplish and what crazy thing did you do to avoid it?

Ready?  GO!

2 Replies to "Dang! This is HARD!"

  • Elise Cowan
    November 19, 2020 (11:48 pm)

    After struggling with getting Sunday services on Facebook Live to run smoothly using a pulpit assistant and Live music, I just threw my hands up in the air, quit using the service that allowed me to remote a pulpit assistant in and began doing it all by myself. For three months I just did straight Facebook Live and played all the roles. Producer, director, sound technician, pulpit assistant, and minister. It was exhausting to do it all, procasti-doing-it-all-myself.

    After the first three months I once again started using a service that would allow me to remote others in, but did nothing about asking for help for almost three more months. With the encouragement of a guest speaker I hired, I’ve now trained 3 out of the five volunteers. But, you knew this story already because you were the first to say yes, you would help.

    Is that more procasti-volunteering? LOL, I do my best work under pressure of a deadline.

    • Debra
      November 20, 2020 (12:33 am)

      Oh, Elise! I know all the pain you put yourself through! I wonder if increasing the discomfort isn’t part of the process of getting all the way through procrastination. Perhaps it has to be unbearable before we shake ourselves out of that stupor and get back into action.

      The system you found is so much better than what was there before! Now, you can focus on doing your good work in the world instead of agonizing over how to make the technology behave. We all learn our lessons! LOL

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