Oh no! I lived my life all WRONG!

The workshop was going smoothly.  All the participants were engaged in the material and I could see the light bulbs of recognition and understanding popping.

Several of the ladies attending were empty-nesters who never had a career outside the home.  Their lifetime focus had been nurturing family and running a household. 

Suddenly, what they thought of as their “purpose” just left for college and they were left standing with a generous heart and lots less laundry.

As we talked about Dreams and what gets in the way of manifesting them, one participant blurted, “Oh no!  I lived my life all WRONG!” 

She was regretting the choice of putting herself last while her husband and family benefitted from her efforts.  Now that her circumstances had changed, she was feeling rudderless and confused.

Change Begets Change

We like to believe that we are in “control” and our choices are self-directed.  Really, though, change often happens to us. 

Our circumstances can change on a dime.  Things like children leaving the nest.  Or, maybe losing a job.  Or divorce.  Or a death.  So many things can redirect how you move forward.

You see, life has a way of rearranging your situation based on what you’re ready for next in your path of growth, not because the choices you made previously were wrong. 

It isn’t about “do over,” it’s about “go this way now.”

We make choices based on the knowledge and information we have in that moment.  Those decisions were right for the time and circumstance.  Family traditions, cultural conditioning and role expectations drive a lot of choices, and there is nothing wrong with choosing a traditional path.

When circumstances change, you have new choices.  When your perspective changes, you have new choices.  When your spirit is ready, you have new choices.

You are your path

You would not be who you are had you not made the choices you made.  The life path you’ve walked created who you are now.

As an example, I married young, had a child right away, and followed the traditional route available to my generation.  Had I not made those choices, I couldn’t relate to empty-nesters.  Had I not made wrong choices in marriage partners, I couldn’t support someone going through a divorce.  Had I not worked a day job for many years with a part-time coaching practice, I couldn’t really “get” someone who is yearning to bring their Dream to fruition.  Had I not pursued music and fiber art, I would never understand someone with creativity itching to be free.

Your choices make you who you are. 

When you’re ready to change, you shore up your nerves and take a risk.  You scare yourself.  But, if it’s time for change and you don’t initiate it, then life will handle that for you.

It’s all designed to bring the life experiences to you that you need for your growth.  There are no wrong choices.

2 Replies to "Oh no! I lived my life all WRONG!"

  • phillippa lack
    March 14, 2019 (3:35 pm)

    well, having lived someone else’s dream for 60 years, it is an amazing feeling to be able to do ALL THE THINGS I never could do before, not only that, to stop doing things I did not really like doing!! Sorry I missed your last Colorado class, I was juggling too many balls in the air that week. But, hopefully you will continue writing words of wisdom like you just did, please keep me in the loop.

    • Debra
      March 14, 2019 (4:09 pm)

      I love this, Phil! It is an amazing feeling and I’m happy you get to experience it. You continue to inspire me!

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