Create a Lifestyle that Works for YOU
“Get a Life!” That’s what I told myself staring in the mirror in 2010. It was 2 years after the end of my second marriage, the one that ended with a 911 call for help and an 18-month no-contact order.
I had been tucked safely away in an apartment but was getting weary of holding myself back. I truly did not fear my ex – he was as shell-shocked as I in many ways and focused on his own recovery.
But in 2010, there I was, ready to set my foot on solid ground, not really sure what I was signing up for but itching for a change. All I knew for sure was that I needed to get a place of my own. I knew I needed all of my possessions under one roof instead of scattered through various storage facilities. I knew that I needed room to create.
Then, as I was preparing for the move I ran across Thomas Leonard’s advice and kept it in my journal to refer to as needed. Thomas Leonard was a pioneer in the coaching profession, famous for his top-10 lists.
This is the Top 10 list that spoke to me in 2010:
Get a Life, not just a Lifestyle
by Thomas Leonard
- Understand that there is a difference between living life and having a lifestyle
- Start learning about different ways of living
- Identify what about your life isn’t really you at all
- Identify what is natural for you, even if it’s not normal for others
- Lifestyles are expensive to support and prevent you from evolving
- Identify who gives you life and who are merely players in your lifestyle
- Downsize, rightsize or even toss out your current lifestyle, just for the shock of it
- Spend an hour and write down what an ideal life for you would look like
- Get to know what your values are
- Stop striving, acquiring, pushing yourself
I made that leap. In 2011, almost exactly 7 years ago, I bought my cute little condo in Fort Collins where I snuggled in. The cats were added a year later.
My lifestyle fits me now.
Here’s an example. One of the criteria I set at that time was to have a home that allowed me to extend my hospitality to friends and family. Connection with friends and family is a big value of mine, and my commitment to that grows year by year.
When I reflected on how I celebrated Easter with my son and his family earlier this month I recalled that criteria. I made room in my house for 7 to stay overnight. I have a basement with room enough to hide kajillions of plastic eggs and a ping-pong table that gets a really good workout. I opened the door wide – and that’s just the way I want to live.
The way I choose to live IS my lifestyle. You too,
I’m curious – which item from that list speaks loudest to you? How do you bring it to life? I’d love to hear your comments!