How to Transform Your Life

When I was locked into the day job, I had no time to explore things I was curious about, no time to hang out at the library and no time to design and make the crochet projects rolling around in my head.  I was up early every morning sitting at the desk, selling my time and life energy to something outside myself.

Plus, my coaching practice dominated my free hours.  I had a full-time job plus a part-time job.  And no life in between.

I wanted things to be different. 

As you know, I made the changes I wanted, but I first, had to learn two things:

First:  I had to believe that my situation was CHANGEABLE. 

Being a single female, living alone, I knew that the only food on the table would be a result of my effort.  No effort = no food.  No effort = no roof over my head.  And even worse, no crochet thread!

I needed a steady paycheck.  I needed medical insurance and retirement benefits, I needed security. It was my belief that what made sense was to work for someone else, beholden to their time frame. 

It was only after spending years coaching others in their career change efforts that it even dawned on me that I had that same power.  Slow learner, right? 

I realized my current situation was not the only path before me. 

Things could change!

Second:  I had to learn that I was CAPABLE of making that change happen.

There was always a vague notion in the back of my head that I could change my life.  I’d fantasize about living off the land, or moving in with a sister, or buying an RV and living on the road.  But I never had the core belief that I could actually do it.

Then, I scared myself. On a 2-week solo vacation in 2012, I drove across the country to California, visited with some sisters, and attended an Irish Crochet class at the Lacis Museum with Maire Treanor.  I explored Berkeley in my spare time, wandering alone around the campus and imagining the days of free love.

Driving home, I made it a point to visit Yosemite and see the sequoias (a bucket list item) and I drove across the salt flats in Utah.  That land is so desolate, and I was all alone.  A flat tire or an overheated engine could have spelled tragedy. 

But I did it.  All by myself.  And I was safe.

Three years later, I left that day job, and four years after that I completely changed my living arrangements by moving to a different state. 

Since then, I’ve driven solo long distances many times.  I’ve even gone camping alone – a real test of my courage considering I split my own wood and one false swing could be tragic.  (Not to mention lions and tigers and bears OH MY!)

If I can survive by my wits in those circumstances, I’m fully capable of transforming my life. 

And you can transform your life too.  Believe it’s possible, scare yourself, and realize how capable you already are!

4 Replies to "How to Transform Your Life"

  • Diane McGregor
    March 15, 2020 (1:18 pm)

    Hi Debra, thank you for this post! It is so inspiring! I changed my life when I was in my 20s, but now I’m over 60 and the thought of upheaval is daunting. I have a dream (moving to Scotland!) but the logistics seem overwhelming. If I were still young, I would move there in a heartbeat, whatever it took. I was able to start a brand new life when I was 23 — I moved 2000 miles away and had only $500 in my pocket. But now? Decades of possessions. Five pets. A house I would have to sell….. I’m sure you know the story. I’m thinking that this dream is too big, too crazy, an impossible dream. I will probably end up changing my life, but it will be within driving distance! Or, I will stay where I am, and the transformation will be an interior one.

    • Debra
      March 15, 2020 (7:59 pm)

      Diane – you’ve had a lot of change in your life this past couple of years and that takes time to process. Did you notice it took me 7 years for my transformation to complete? (Full confession, I’ll be 70 this year – age is not part of the equation!) Change happens on the outside and transition happens on the inside. As the transition cycles through, momentum builds and suddenly, you’re on your way to a transformation.

      I love that you’re holding your dream close and that you have your past experience to draw upon. Yes, it’s daunting, and yes the logistics are overwhelming. But remember, that brave gutsy lady of 20 is still in there! What feels overwhelming now will become doable.

      Baby steps, Baby. Baby steps! Dream Bigger! You got this!! And when you’re ready, consider my program. It is custom made for your kind of process.

  • Diane McGregor
    March 15, 2020 (9:54 pm)

    Thanks, Debra! I may do that! Right now I’m on my 3rd day of self-quarantine, waiting for test results from a friend who is ill.

    Let’s get through this freaking pandemic and then I might go back to my Scotland dreaming… xoxox

    • Debra
      March 16, 2020 (3:46 pm)

      Yes. I think I’ll go wash my hands now… Keep dreaming!!

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