Sometimes we don’t get to choose

Sometimes we don’t get to choose.  Tragedy can and does strike.

Sometimes life hands us a gorgeous bouquet that has a razor-sharp knife hidden inside.  Warning signs are almost always ignored because we’re looking at the pretty flowers, at the surface only.  That’s life’s way of inviting you to walk in a different direction now.

No matter what circumstances befall us, we get to learn our life lesson.  Whether we want to or not.  And like those staunch soldiers of the realm, we hang on to what was past by tooth and nail, resisting every evidence of change.  We gotta hold things together!  Muscle up!  Everyone is counting on me to keep us safe!

You don’t want anything to change even though everything has changed.

When we reach for the stable signs of the past, they’re simply not there.  Only questions remain.  If I’m not the person I was before, who am I?  If I can’t count on what I believe is true, what can I count on?

Normal doesn’t come back.

We realize we’re holding on to a mirage, an imaginary time, when we cling to the past.  By diverting attention away from what once was, we leave an opening for something larger.  Something more authentic.

It’s like you’re molting; you’ve discarded the shell that protected you in your previous life, and now you’re forming the new larger version of yourself.  But this time you get to choose more intentionally.

Be aware that before the new shell hardens, it’s likely you’ll feel vulnerable and really uncomfortable.  Know that this is temporary.  Nobody likes it, everyone goes through it.  Stick it out – things will be different – you’ll be fine.

You’ll create a new version of you.

2 Replies to "Sometimes we don't get to choose"

  • Gaye Sekula
    April 11, 2018 (1:30 pm)

    “Normal doesn’t come back”. I needed to hear that in order to stop searching for the elusive “normal”..or at least to adjust my idea of what it means. That one sentence really meant a lot today and I suspect it will stick with me well into the future. Thank you!

    • Debra
      April 11, 2018 (6:41 pm)

      And you know what else, Gaye? There’s really no such thing as “normal” anyway. It’s just a setting on the dryer – has nothing to do with people! I’m glad the post resonated with you.

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