We assume that Martyr and Crabby and Touchy and Sulky are wrong. We should all get along together. We should be kind. We should be considerate. Because they aren't, we don’t like working with them. We judge them as being wrong because they don’t conform to our notion of how they should be.
The thing is
My little girl is brilliant. When she was 3, I tried to explain that obvious fact to her new nursery school teacher. “Yes, Mom, we know…. your child is sooooooo smart…” they condescendingly cooed. But when I picked her up later, the teacher dashed to catch me and asked permission to move her to a more challenging class. “Well duh.” I thought. “I told you so.”
I tell you this so you understand why collaborating with her on my recent speaking challenge was such an amazing experience. You see, intimacy and creativity go hand in hand. If you missed my ...
Last week I talked about what intimacy is, this week I’ll talk about what it is not. (Read part 1 here) Intimacy, sex and power are separate aspects of the human experience. Each is powerful on its own. Sadly, thanks to our conditioning, we confuse them. We collapse their meanings together.
A common collapsed distinction happens with intimacy and sex. Intimacy is not sex. Just because you have sex with someone does not mean you are emotionally present for each other. Also, being intimate with someone has nothing to do with power. Neither sex nor emotional vulnerabil...
Relationships are at the center of everything we do. Yet often, we don’t even see the real person sitting across from us. Instead we interact with the person we think they should be instead of who they are. And everyone ends up disappointed.
To discover the real person inside requires intimacy.
Years ago I worked for a chemistry professor who was a volcano